তুমি।।

হয় ভাল পাওঁ আজিও তোমাক ,

আজিও মোৰ বাবে তুমিয়ে মৰম হৈ আছে ।

কিন্তু মোৰ মৰমৰ বিনিময়ত তোমাৰ ভাল পোৱা নালাগে মোক,

হয়তো আজিও সেই মৰম মিছা হব ।

মূখা পিন্ধা এজন অভিনেতাৰ দৰে ,

নহব নে ?

চকুলো হয় আজিও বৈ আহে ,

তোমাৰ নাম আন কাৰোবাৰ লগত শুনি ।

সেইয়া তোমাৰ নিৰ্ণয় আছিল ,

ভালপোৱা বাধ্যত পৰিটো নহয়।।

হয় ভাল পাওঁ আজিও তোমাক ,

কিন্তু ,

মোৰ মৰমৰ বিনিময়ত মূখা পিন্ধা মৰম নালাগে।।

তোমাৰ হাঁহি থকা মুখ খন চাই মইও সুখী ,

লাগিলে সেই হাঁহি তোমাক মোৰ ঠাইত

আন কোনোবায়ে দিয়ক।

তোমাৰ হাঁহিতে আজি হাঁহিব শিকিলোঁ ,

প্রকৃততে প্রেম এইয়াই ,

নহয় জানো?

তোমাৰ মূখা পিন্ধা মুখ খনত মৰম বিচাৰিছিলোঁ।

তোমাৰ বাবে যি অভিনয় ,

মোৰ বাবে মৰম আছিল।

আৰু সেয়ে ভালপাওঁ আজিও তোমাক,

কিন্তু,

তাৰ বিনিময়ত মূখা পিন্ধা মৰম নালাগে মোক।।

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A fly to life once again..

The life that has come to an end,

Is living again ,

Someone has furnished her

with unconditional love and blessings,

So that the lonely bird could fly again.

In the open sky to touch the clouds ,

to feel the drops of the rain .

The lonely bird is chirruping for the second time again .

Singing her sweet song ,

Looking at the ocean ,

She is dancing with the wind once again .

After the autumn shed the trees ,

She lifted her sprits to see the spring,

To behold the beauty of the new beginnings,

the lonely bird is flying to life

once again .

The Thankyou That Comes From The Suicidal Thought..

It was about 2am , late night . That night I was not sleepy and neither him .We were celebrating our five years of relationship . We both were talking , remembering ,the first day we met , all the pain and the suffering that I have faced to be the only girl in his life , all the separation that we have gone through . All I knew was that he was mine , he was not going to be with anyone else .He was going to be with me forever . I was enjoying the moment . I was happy . I was on cloud nine .

As we were talking He kissed me on my fore Head and promised to be with me forever . He pull me closer , so close that I was clearly hearing his heartbeat . My heart started to beat faster , with his every kisses my breath was Increasing . I was living the moment where he was showering his love on me . I gave myself to him . I surrender myself to him to be his soul .

The next morning , when I wake up he was leaving . He said he had some works to do . Hours passed by ,he was not answering my calls . I was afraid , not a single good thought was coming to my mind . Though I kept on calling , I kept on messaging but there was no respond . And in the evening a message beeped that wrecked my world , It was from her ,the another girl in his life , she asked me whether I was in a relationship with him , I replied yes . Without out wasting a moment I called her up , though her line was busy , I kept on calling .After few minutes she called me back and said that she was talking to him , she was his girlfriend not me .My whole world just shattered hearing those words . She said that since morning he was with her , they were in a relationship , and I was no where in his life .I can’t believe my ears , what I heard ,was that Even true .

Hearing all this nothing comes to my mind , I just wanna talk to him . Not a single drop of tear was rolling from my eyes . I was afraid , shattered .I was not sleeping , not eating , all I want was his answers .I kept on repeating in my mind , whatever she said was false , it can’t be true so don’t cry .

It was about 1am and finally he called me , I was just hoping whatever she said must be a lie , my ears were waiting for his words . And then he talked , he asked me, whether I was going crazy to call him so many times and before I could ask him anything he said that I was not giving him his space ,he wanted some time to think . I asked him to think what? , what was all that a night before? , who was the girl who called me? , are you cheating on me? . And the only answer he gave was let’s break up . For a second I couldn’t believe my ears , tears were rolling down . I was begging him , not to do that to me please but he didn’t give a second thought and disconnected the line . I kept on calling but he blocked my number and my dream world just got destroyed .

I was angry ,sad , worried . I was alone . I was broken , but I couldn’t do anything , I wanna kill myself for loving him so much . I was frustrated so next morning I left for home . Though only thing was coming to my mind was him and his words . While I was sitting on the bus I kept on calling him but he didn’t answered , I was texting him but he didn’t replied . In just a day I was a stranger for him ,5 years of relationship finished in just blink of the eyes. “In my mind I was repeating to myself ” don’t cry , you are strong enough , he will call back , he loves you only you” I was a fool right .

At home also I was not able to sleep , I was not talking to anyone , I was not eating . It was like my smile , my happiness , my life has ended and at last I decided to finished myself . I was afraid but I was broken . I took the knife and was about to cut my wrist, My mom entered the room . She saw me with the knife that day I saw my mom crying . I said everything to her and she replied –

“I kept you in my womb for nine months and just for a boy you decided to kill yourself , he gave you love , happiness for just 5years but what about me I have been giving you everything love , happiness , care since you are in my womb . Did I fail to give you anything you want , if no than why is it that you took such a step without even thinking of me your dad your family beta , we love you . If the boy didn’t understood your love then you were also not able to understand our love “

She was sobering , tears were rolling down . The knife fell from my hands , I was angry at myself how stupid I was to even think such things.My love was my family ,they gave me unconditional love .I said sorry to my mom and promised her to never Ever repeat such things .

And after few days , he texted me again but that day I only replied Thankyou to him and asked him to move on .

My mates …

It became the second home for me ,

Though I never thought I would like the place so much ,

That it would become an unforgettable journey .

Pushpalaya Girls hostel , room no 3 ,

It was not just a room ,It became a memory .

A beautiful memory that would be cherished whole life .

I lived there along with my three butterflies ,

Junaki our Mom , Megha our heroine and Lon our panda …

My three Angeles , my saviour in Dibrugarh .

Though it was only the half , my whole family is yet to be introduced .

Room no 3 may not be alloted to them ,

but they were not less than my roommates ,

Deepi our advisor , Mala our singer and Riya our star .

They were my six beautiful bitches,

they made my journey worth to be remembered , worth to be cherished.

They scold like a father ,

Care like a mother,

Protects like a brother ,

And Irritates like a sister.

they were my Angeles , they were my bitches , they were the devils and they were the saviour .

We may have arguments ,but never hated each other ,

We may not talk sometimes but understand each other

We fight ,we cried , but at the end we loved each other .

And that’s my second family ,

My mates in the hostel

My mates in room no 3 .

Let me be a girl to love…

Your love wasn’t love ,

It was something vague .

Something which I thought to be a daydream,

but turned to be a nightmare.

I thought I was the Queen of your heart ,

but soon I realized ,

I was just a toy to play, not to love .

You left me according to your convenience,

And came back whenever you feel like.

You said , you came back for me ,

For my love ,

But is that true ,

No it’s not your love .

You were here again to break me down ,

Like you have done before.

You fixed me to play , not to love .

You were here again to see my tears , not to be the smile

You were here to mold me into someone who was not me,

Without even asking me for once.

And that ‘s the enough reason for me ,

Your love wasn’t love,

It’s a nightmare which I thought to be a daydream.

Now just let me be free from the nightmare,

And live into my daydream .

Let me be a girl to love ,

Not a toy to play..

Was your love limited to your bed?

Was your love limited to your bed ?

Or was it my fault to trust you ?

Your love was a drama , and

You were the actor ,

You played well. Bravo ,

Breaking my heart,

leaving me into pieces .

Just after the day, you made me sleep in your bed.

Remember the promises you made , while making me love,

Or was it , your dialogues of the drama you have played.

But , I was not an actor,

Nor my love was a drama,

I cried and cried ,

Even I begged , not to leave my side ,

Though you never gave a second thought ,

You crushed me along with my dreams ,

And left me for the woman, who left you for another man .

So , tell me ,

Was your love limited to your bed ?

Or was it my fault to trust you ?

The Gram generation love

The Gram generation love or the Instagram love or we called it as the social sites love . The Young generation are the pioneers of this Gram generation love .The youth spend lots and lots of time in the social media’s , social sites , dating application and there are lot more . Instead of finding love in a real world , the Gram generation tries to find the love in the world of social sites .

The Gram generation love is limited to the screen . Despite of being in real love meeting each other face to face ,they mostly spend their time using their phones , texting , uploading pictures . Love for this generation depends on the likes they give to the pictures of each other , if anyone doesn’t like or comment in the pictures that means the person doesn’t like his or her partner . Their trust for each other also depends on the basis of uploading pictures together on the social sites , more over if somehow the relationship status remains single that means he or she might be cheating on their partner . This is the Gram generation love , which is limited to the boundaries of the Instagram and dating apps.

Though love is love , no matter from where it gets started , the ultimate result has to be a happy ending . Each of the partners , should find happiness in their relationship as a couple as well as an individual . There should be understanding between them and most importantly one should respect the other . The Gram generation love could also become a long lasting love story if and only the love is not limited to the screen or uploading pictures , there have to be some reality , there have to be love pure love , the eternal love.